Can a gritty, dark,
intense Horror Thriller – written by a Multi-Award-Winning Author – be
both suspenseful and meaningful? Yes, polished Plenty, riveted by research and expert
editing, proves the point.
intense Horror Thriller – written by a Multi-Award-Winning Author – be
both suspenseful and meaningful? Yes, polished Plenty, riveted by research and expert
editing, proves the point.
I decided to post this rebuttal to a negative Christmas Day review because it provides an opportunity to convey some important well-researched information about trafficked teens, sexual assault and road rage, a positive use for this platform. Additionally, it also addresses the reader’s complaints.
Warning: This review contains spoilers.
The review follows with my comments:
Wow! Really struck by how my now 99-cent novel lit up this reviewer on Christmas Day. While I understand that not everyone will like my book, tastes differ – some people like licorice, but I don’t. Some may not like the plot, the characters, my voice nor the messages conveyed. But I have a problem with a re-write of the plot, the characters, the timing of events and a total disregard for the research behind the story – all of which lead to a gross misrepresentation of the novel.
I wanted to like this book, really I did. I love stories where
women and men are put to the test to rise above their life circumstances for
something better. With that in mind I picked this book up hoping for the best.
Instead, unfortunately I got a very disjointed, confusing hot mess of a story.
It’s about a young woman named Camille who comes from a very rough background
continuing to fall in with very bad characters until a pivotal event brings her
into contact with the family of the man who was killed while trying to get her to
a better life. Together she and the young widow team up and bring truth,
justice and the American way of life to their little town.
women and men are put to the test to rise above their life circumstances for
something better. With that in mind I picked this book up hoping for the best.
Instead, unfortunately I got a very disjointed, confusing hot mess of a story.
It’s about a young woman named Camille who comes from a very rough background
continuing to fall in with very bad characters until a pivotal event brings her
into contact with the family of the man who was killed while trying to get her to
a better life. Together she and the young widow team up and bring truth,
justice and the American way of life to their little town.
Okay. I’m kidding, that’s what I think the book is trying to
impart, but really I couldn’t tell. Now, to be fair the story idea is a good
one, it could have been a great one even. But I think the author wrote it
rapidly, did not take the time to polish the dialogue or even the characters
themselves and did not step back and give the manuscript some serious editing. Re: editing, so grateful to Sara
Kocek, a developmental editor and founder of Yellow Bird Editors, and Melissa
Stein, copyeditor/developmental editor affiliated with editcetera, for carefully
scrutinizing the novel. Yes, editing – always a priority. Too many events
were simply tossed together, dialogue was stilted and unnatural. Once again, I defer to the editing
experts. Explanations about character motivations came at the end of the
book instead of at the beginning where we might have better understood our heroine
Camille and her and other people’s motives. And to top it off the author kept
bouncing around to different people, telling the story from their POV then
whipping back to another character’s POV with little to no warning in a manner
that just made the narrative nearly impossible to follow. Actually, the last two books that I
read, Plain Truth and The Girl Who Played with Fire, reveal
character motivations at the end of the book. Also, both authors use many
changes in POV. Once again, I defer to and trust the editing experts.
impart, but really I couldn’t tell. Now, to be fair the story idea is a good
one, it could have been a great one even. But I think the author wrote it
rapidly, did not take the time to polish the dialogue or even the characters
themselves and did not step back and give the manuscript some serious editing. Re: editing, so grateful to Sara
Kocek, a developmental editor and founder of Yellow Bird Editors, and Melissa
Stein, copyeditor/developmental editor affiliated with editcetera, for carefully
scrutinizing the novel. Yes, editing – always a priority. Too many events
were simply tossed together, dialogue was stilted and unnatural. Once again, I defer to the editing
experts. Explanations about character motivations came at the end of the
book instead of at the beginning where we might have better understood our heroine
Camille and her and other people’s motives. And to top it off the author kept
bouncing around to different people, telling the story from their POV then
whipping back to another character’s POV with little to no warning in a manner
that just made the narrative nearly impossible to follow. Actually, the last two books that I
read, Plain Truth and The Girl Who Played with Fire, reveal
character motivations at the end of the book. Also, both authors use many
changes in POV. Once again, I defer to and trust the editing experts.
In the end too much of this simply wasn’t believable and I was
not able to get engrossed, because things like beatings and rape and terrible
car accidents (of which there were a few, seriously it seemed to be a favorite
plot device) -When writing about
and spotlighting cavalier attitudes about road rage, car crashes are a must
-were treated as glossed over events with characters
simply being able to wash away the smell of some man’s cologne and then be over
a brutal sexual assault, to carry on as if that was simply one more event.
“I went to the store yesterday, they were out of that roast I wanted. Then
on the way home I watched an entire family wiped out in an SUV by some guy
higher than a kite. Pass the peas would you, my boyfriend is coming over later
with heroin to have a wild night with me.” This paragraph totally misrepresents my voice, the plot and
timing of events. With re: to sexual assault, when survivors shower, it’s
literally and symbolically cathartic. Again, as a matter of fact, the impulse –
so common that police advise survivors not to shower to preserve DNA evidence.
not able to get engrossed, because things like beatings and rape and terrible
car accidents (of which there were a few, seriously it seemed to be a favorite
plot device) -When writing about
and spotlighting cavalier attitudes about road rage, car crashes are a must
-were treated as glossed over events with characters
simply being able to wash away the smell of some man’s cologne and then be over
a brutal sexual assault, to carry on as if that was simply one more event.
“I went to the store yesterday, they were out of that roast I wanted. Then
on the way home I watched an entire family wiped out in an SUV by some guy
higher than a kite. Pass the peas would you, my boyfriend is coming over later
with heroin to have a wild night with me.” This paragraph totally misrepresents my voice, the plot and
timing of events. With re: to sexual assault, when survivors shower, it’s
literally and symbolically cathartic. Again, as a matter of fact, the impulse –
so common that police advise survivors not to shower to preserve DNA evidence.
See
https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/rape-kit
https://rainn.org/get-information/sexual-assault-recovery/rape-kit
The passage the reviewer referenced:
“I’m damaged, but not dead. I guess…I should be grateful that I wasn’t awake.
After I showered away his pine-disinfectant cologne, I immediately felt
better,” she mumbled. She didn’t turn, but continued to study the outdoors.
“I’ve thought about this all night long. Trauma, sadly enough, is… sometimes
part of life. I can let this crush me or I can rise above it. I’ll deal with it
my way, but I don’t want to talk about it now.”
“I’m damaged, but not dead. I guess…I should be grateful that I wasn’t awake.
After I showered away his pine-disinfectant cologne, I immediately felt
better,” she mumbled. She didn’t turn, but continued to study the outdoors.
“I’ve thought about this all night long. Trauma, sadly enough, is… sometimes
part of life. I can let this crush me or I can rise above it. I’ll deal with it
my way, but I don’t want to talk about it now.”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
In the same scene, the
character later says:
character later says:
“Let’s all take a breath. All
of us need therapy. We survived our encounters with them, so we’re survivors.
In order to be happy survivors, we have to be grateful survivors and be focused
on living happy, meaningful lives.”
of us need therapy. We survived our encounters with them, so we’re survivors.
In order to be happy survivors, we have to be grateful survivors and be focused
on living happy, meaningful lives.”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Also, Camille, who deals with
both a toxic boyfriend and illegal drugs, reacts in a checked-out way to even
her grandmother’s suspicious demise. Furthermore, reactions to car crashes and
depiction thereof – graphic and heart-felt. One of many examples follows:
both a toxic boyfriend and illegal drugs, reacts in a checked-out way to even
her grandmother’s suspicious demise. Furthermore, reactions to car crashes and
depiction thereof – graphic and heart-felt. One of many examples follows:
“Sophia swayed as she felt
the hard fist of nausea punch her in the gut. The steely scent of blood and
fecal matter knocked her to her knees, and she began to retch.”
the hard fist of nausea punch her in the gut. The steely scent of blood and
fecal matter knocked her to her knees, and she began to retch.”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
In all honesty most people would be catatonic in a corner
somewhere if they had to live through the things the main heroine lives through
all while remaining feisty and unbroken. People react differently to traumatizing events. Some curl
up in a fetal position and some feel compelled to take immediate action.
Battery and sexual assault often occur concurrently. Most people don’t have the
luxury of indulging their grief and must solider on to work and pay their
bills. I might mention Lisabeth Salander in The
Girl Who Played with Fire, the sequel to the best-selling The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, another embattled female who rises
above her miserable circumstances. Additionally, I certainly wouldn’t say that
Camille was unbroken if she sought out a steely gift from grandma, illegal
drugs, friendship and therapy to deal with her wretched life. Oh and the
bad guys get theirs, but it’s all such a jumbled mess and so unsatisfactory
when they do you just sort of gape and think, “Really? Why set this character up to be so despicable
then have them off themselves ’cause
NOW they feel guilty about one little thing when they’ve been screwing up
people’s lives over and over for a long time?” Once again, I defer to and trust the editing experts. Interesting
choice of words – “one little thing” when referring to the deaths of three
people. But again, it’s difficult to recognize the plot of my novel given the
liberties taken to describe it.
somewhere if they had to live through the things the main heroine lives through
all while remaining feisty and unbroken. People react differently to traumatizing events. Some curl
up in a fetal position and some feel compelled to take immediate action.
Battery and sexual assault often occur concurrently. Most people don’t have the
luxury of indulging their grief and must solider on to work and pay their
bills. I might mention Lisabeth Salander in The
Girl Who Played with Fire, the sequel to the best-selling The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, another embattled female who rises
above her miserable circumstances. Additionally, I certainly wouldn’t say that
Camille was unbroken if she sought out a steely gift from grandma, illegal
drugs, friendship and therapy to deal with her wretched life. Oh and the
bad guys get theirs, but it’s all such a jumbled mess and so unsatisfactory
when they do you just sort of gape and think, “Really? Why set this character up to be so despicable
then have them off themselves ’cause
NOW they feel guilty about one little thing when they’ve been screwing up
people’s lives over and over for a long time?” Once again, I defer to and trust the editing experts. Interesting
choice of words – “one little thing” when referring to the deaths of three
people. But again, it’s difficult to recognize the plot of my novel given the
liberties taken to describe it.
Top that all off with an entire chapter that looks suspiciously
like an ode to 50 Shades of You Know What tacked on as a happy ending and well,
let’s just say I was thoroughly confused. Written as and touted as an antithesis to Fifty, that modified dynamic definitely
– part of the story. Let’s see, our heroine is beaten, raped, sexually
abused by her dad, shot up with heroin, watches people die left, right and
center and NOW she wants a wild night of sex with a riding crop, thigh-high
boots and bondage? Um, yeah, sure. Actually, in the context of familial dysfunction, fathers shape
relationship decisions and expectations
later in a girl’s life. After all, a father is the first male that a young
child adores and loves. I connected all of the dots. See:
like an ode to 50 Shades of You Know What tacked on as a happy ending and well,
let’s just say I was thoroughly confused. Written as and touted as an antithesis to Fifty, that modified dynamic definitely
– part of the story. Let’s see, our heroine is beaten, raped, sexually
abused by her dad, shot up with heroin, watches people die left, right and
center and NOW she wants a wild night of sex with a riding crop, thigh-high
boots and bondage? Um, yeah, sure. Actually, in the context of familial dysfunction, fathers shape
relationship decisions and expectations
later in a girl’s life. After all, a father is the first male that a young
child adores and loves. I connected all of the dots. See:
Once again, a
massive distortion of plot and timing. By
the way, NOW equates to immediately and doesn’t account for a passage of time,
in this case a year. Therapy enables Camille to be present, which is
clearly stated but ignored: “A year after the apocalypse at and near
her home, Camille lay on her stomach on her bed…Months of therapy led them to this moment, when Camille could stay
in the moment and be a demanding diva.”
massive distortion of plot and timing. By
the way, NOW equates to immediately and doesn’t account for a passage of time,
in this case a year. Therapy enables Camille to be present, which is
clearly stated but ignored: “A year after the apocalypse at and near
her home, Camille lay on her stomach on her bed…Months of therapy led them to this moment, when Camille could stay
in the moment and be a demanding diva.”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks
In the real world things like that do happen unfortunately. I’m
not saying things like what happens to Camille can’t happen, they do all the
time unfortunately. But her reaction to it all is simply too bland and unreal, as if she just got cut from a
cheerleading squad she never wanted to part of in the first place instead of
events that would send most into years of therapy OR a mental institution,
probably both. Pure
speculation. Fact: Survivors of traumatic events,
including war vets, often shutdown their emotions and appear stoic. And there’s never any real
explanation for why she’s so immune to all of the horror that just seems to
keep exploding around her, like one of those people who walk around with bad
guys spraying bullets at them and yet they remain magically untouched. Fact: When
subjected to trauma or repeated trauma, sexual assault survivors detach and do
not remain in the moment, a survival mechanism. Sexual assault survivors cope
in many ways often appearing cold in their reaction to horrifying events. More
times than not, they do not tell anyone due to shame and guilt. I did extensive research on this subject
both for professional and personal reasons, trying to help a close family
member cope. I even volunteered at a local women’s shelter. Aside from the Cosby
case, I suggest the reviewer read about Lady Gaga and Madonna’s recent rape
revelations, expressed decades after the fact and never reported.
not saying things like what happens to Camille can’t happen, they do all the
time unfortunately. But her reaction to it all is simply too bland and unreal, as if she just got cut from a
cheerleading squad she never wanted to part of in the first place instead of
events that would send most into years of therapy OR a mental institution,
probably both. Pure
speculation. Fact: Survivors of traumatic events,
including war vets, often shutdown their emotions and appear stoic. And there’s never any real
explanation for why she’s so immune to all of the horror that just seems to
keep exploding around her, like one of those people who walk around with bad
guys spraying bullets at them and yet they remain magically untouched. Fact: When
subjected to trauma or repeated trauma, sexual assault survivors detach and do
not remain in the moment, a survival mechanism. Sexual assault survivors cope
in many ways often appearing cold in their reaction to horrifying events. More
times than not, they do not tell anyone due to shame and guilt. I did extensive research on this subject
both for professional and personal reasons, trying to help a close family
member cope. I even volunteered at a local women’s shelter. Aside from the Cosby
case, I suggest the reviewer read about Lady Gaga and Madonna’s recent rape
revelations, expressed decades after the fact and never reported.
and
And
that brings me I guess to my main gripe here. All events here are portrayed
like those glossy over-blown with special effects movies that are full of car
crashes and explosions and gratuitous sex jumbled together in ways that just aren’t real and believable, because that’s
not how things ever happen in real life. Re: real life, Carrie, Pet Sematary, Transporter, Pretty Woman, Twilight, Casino Royale,
From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Tomorrow Never Dies, GoldenEye, Spectre,
Skyfall or Fast and Furious don’t
mirror real life and are not believable given that criteria. Many
plotlines wouldn’t pass the test as in – so you’re telling me that all of
characters and events happen to be at the right place at the right time to
create this story? As a thriller author and an avid James Bond fan, who hired
editing professionals to vet the novel, glad to see the “main gripe.” Re: real life scenarios, I researched every
topic covered in this story – from trafficked teens, police corruption, road
rage, bondage and of course Fifty,
the sex-kitten-for-a-sadist romance series.
I interviewed peace officers, a physicist, civil engineers and the mother of a
trafficked teen, a 15 year old enslaved
by handlers via a daily forced ration of heroin. In addition, I read many articles
on-line about all subjects mentioned. Re: what happens in real life, I suggest
you goggle Kentucky Sheriff Lawrence Hodge, the subject of a 60 Minutes
segment, who manages to make Sheriff Griffin’s actions appear tame.
that brings me I guess to my main gripe here. All events here are portrayed
like those glossy over-blown with special effects movies that are full of car
crashes and explosions and gratuitous sex jumbled together in ways that just aren’t real and believable, because that’s
not how things ever happen in real life. Re: real life, Carrie, Pet Sematary, Transporter, Pretty Woman, Twilight, Casino Royale,
From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Tomorrow Never Dies, GoldenEye, Spectre,
Skyfall or Fast and Furious don’t
mirror real life and are not believable given that criteria. Many
plotlines wouldn’t pass the test as in – so you’re telling me that all of
characters and events happen to be at the right place at the right time to
create this story? As a thriller author and an avid James Bond fan, who hired
editing professionals to vet the novel, glad to see the “main gripe.” Re: real life scenarios, I researched every
topic covered in this story – from trafficked teens, police corruption, road
rage, bondage and of course Fifty,
the sex-kitten-for-a-sadist romance series.
I interviewed peace officers, a physicist, civil engineers and the mother of a
trafficked teen, a 15 year old enslaved
by handlers via a daily forced ration of heroin. In addition, I read many articles
on-line about all subjects mentioned. Re: what happens in real life, I suggest
you goggle Kentucky Sheriff Lawrence Hodge, the subject of a 60 Minutes
segment, who manages to make Sheriff Griffin’s actions appear tame.
See:
Once again, re: real life, several of the car crashes
witnessed appeared as evening news headlines.
witnessed appeared as evening news headlines.
And one walks away unsatisfied and empty over
topics that one should never feel that way about, in much the same way a rape
can simply be showered away, only depicted as a coping response not a cure,
or a murder of a beloved relative can simply be touched on briefly, actually mentioned many times with heartbreaking regret, then
glanced off of again in favor of a nice set of pecs. This passage
explains Camille’s reaction as she sinks into the abyss of drug use after the
death of her grandmother.
topics that one should never feel that way about, in much the same way a rape
can simply be showered away, only depicted as a coping response not a cure,
or a murder of a beloved relative can simply be touched on briefly, actually mentioned many times with heartbreaking regret, then
glanced off of again in favor of a nice set of pecs. This passage
explains Camille’s reaction as she sinks into the abyss of drug use after the
death of her grandmother.
“Well, no. After she
died, I became self-destructive and took drugs recreationally. Now, I spend my
days doing more positive things without drugs, without the fog, without the
stupor.”
died, I became self-destructive and took drugs recreationally. Now, I spend my
days doing more positive things without drugs, without the fog, without the
stupor.”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Another example of the
mind-numbing, all-consuming grip of drug use and a toxic boyfriend:
mind-numbing, all-consuming grip of drug use and a toxic boyfriend:
“Besides, Grant wanted
her to go to the lake to meet some of his motorcycle buddies, which wasn’t fun
since she was the only girl in the group. She crashed in the sun after a joint,
the pill, and the longneck. She heard the guys howling as she fell face-first
into the sand.”
her to go to the lake to meet some of his motorcycle buddies, which wasn’t fun
since she was the only girl in the group. She crashed in the sun after a joint,
the pill, and the longneck. She heard the guys howling as she fell face-first
into the sand.”
And another of many
examples.
examples.
“Tears streamed from
her eyes as her thoughts drifted to her grandma.
her eyes as her thoughts drifted to her grandma.
Grammy believed in me.
Believed that I’d be special and strong. She told me to pursue a meaningful
life. Look at me—drugging recreationally and balling my boyfriend in her bed.
So unhappy and so ashamed of my weakness. Where did I go wrong to create this
train wreck of a life?”
Believed that I’d be special and strong. She told me to pursue a meaningful
life. Look at me—drugging recreationally and balling my boyfriend in her bed.
So unhappy and so ashamed of my weakness. Where did I go wrong to create this
train wreck of a life?”
Excerpt From: Kelly K.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Lavender. “Plenty.” iBooks.
Emotionally Empty – that’s the way rape survivors feel and trafficked teens and
many war vets. But this review doesn’t reflect an Empty state of mind. For
someone to take the time on Christmas Day to go on and on, I don’t think Empty
is the word I’d use.
many war vets. But this review doesn’t reflect an Empty state of mind. For
someone to take the time on Christmas Day to go on and on, I don’t think Empty
is the word I’d use.
Absolutely certain, as an author, I won’t
change anything about the creative process – including the professional team
chosen, my voice, research endeavors or plot going forward. I write about and
will continue to shed light on subjects that matter like trafficked teens – Camille a naïve, emotionally vulnerable teen from
a dysfunctional family being primed for trafficked status –
change anything about the creative process – including the professional team
chosen, my voice, research endeavors or plot going forward. I write about and
will continue to shed light on subjects that matter like trafficked teens – Camille a naïve, emotionally vulnerable teen from
a dysfunctional family being primed for trafficked status –
See:
like road rage, like re-building confidence
and a life after sexual assault, like the revolting glamorization of sadism and
the alpha male it’s-all-about-me Fifty
Shades dynamic. Yes, grateful to use my voice to craft this meaningful novel
which spotlights many societal ills.
and a life after sexual assault, like the revolting glamorization of sadism and
the alpha male it’s-all-about-me Fifty
Shades dynamic. Yes, grateful to use my voice to craft this meaningful novel
which spotlights many societal ills.
Finally, it’s completely illogical to assume any serious-minded
author would include trafficked teens, road rage, sexual assault, Craigslist
kids, corrupt cops, bees, horses and car crashes in a novel and not do the research. If John Grisham,
Patricia Cornwell, Agatha Christie or Stephen King decided to write about a
serial killer in Dallas Texas, you can bet the novel would be well researched
to accurately depict the area, the deaths, serial killer profiles, victims
chosen etc. In the highly competitive
book business, any author who wants
to create and sell a high quality novel must make research and editing part of
the process. Since I wrote a Multi-Award-Winning Debut novel, it would be ridiculous to forego extensive editing and
exhaustive research for a highly anticipated second book.
author would include trafficked teens, road rage, sexual assault, Craigslist
kids, corrupt cops, bees, horses and car crashes in a novel and not do the research. If John Grisham,
Patricia Cornwell, Agatha Christie or Stephen King decided to write about a
serial killer in Dallas Texas, you can bet the novel would be well researched
to accurately depict the area, the deaths, serial killer profiles, victims
chosen etc. In the highly competitive
book business, any author who wants
to create and sell a high quality novel must make research and editing part of
the process. Since I wrote a Multi-Award-Winning Debut novel, it would be ridiculous to forego extensive editing and
exhaustive research for a highly anticipated second book.
Obviously, the review ignores easily
verifiable research, makes unsubstantiated assumptions about reactions and subsequently
concludes with an opinion that undermines the credibility of the entire review.
In addition, the fact that the review includes twisted plotlines and spoiler
reveals, with no notification thereof, attest to a decidedly malicious approach.
verifiable research, makes unsubstantiated assumptions about reactions and subsequently
concludes with an opinion that undermines the credibility of the entire review.
In addition, the fact that the review includes twisted plotlines and spoiler
reveals, with no notification thereof, attest to a decidedly malicious approach.
As JK Rowling said “What you write becomes who you are…” With great care,
expert help and an abundance of research, that’s exactly what I’ve done. My
mantra – a Gandhi quote – “My life is my message.”
expert help and an abundance of research, that’s exactly what I’ve done. My
mantra – a Gandhi quote – “My life is my message.”
Yes, I’ll continue to pen compelling thrillers that enlighten and teach about
weighty subjects that some only think
they understand. True horror stories about teen trafficking, road rage,
sexual assault and small town corruption appear
on the evening news. All the more terrifying than ghosts or devils.
weighty subjects that some only think
they understand. True horror stories about teen trafficking, road rage,
sexual assault and small town corruption appear
on the evening news. All the more terrifying than ghosts or devils.
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